I thought you were whiskey, that the heat of you would spread fire to my heart, my core. But instead, you were ice, freezing me into fragile fractions of myself.
I thought you were a promise, that you would be the finder of my missing faith. But instead, you were a lie, locking me into a cage of false words.
I thought you were the very sunshine, that you would shine over my shadows, illuminating my dark questions. But instead, you were darker places I never dreamed I would travel to.
I thought you were the miracle, that you would fix the mistakes of me. But instead, you were human, a soul who had its own brokenness.
I thought I would end the searching for answers in finding you and then, when I could not, in others, in something around me. But instead, I came to the end of my seeking by finding I had what I needed all along.
I thought you could heal the wounds that have led to scars. But instead, I found that I was the only one who must seek the truth that would set me free.
I thought you were an end to a journey. Instead you were a signpost on the path, pointing me back to the road I belonged on.
I thought I could lose it all. Instead I learned that there are things I can never lose, that no human could take from me:
That the holy spark that lit my soul can never be extinguished.
That my soul cannot be owned by another.
That my searching has found an end in a love that will not let me go.